Reflections on Uncertainty

Reflections. Random thoughts. These are soley for myself, with no intent to say anything through this essay, but maybe just to portray how confused I am (and try to clear my mind a bit)

I’m writing this as I’m heading to Valencia. The primary concern that’s on my mind is the uncertainty I’ve been in for the past couple of months: “Am I doing the right thing?”.

I’m filled with doubt, and fear. Why? Because I’m only getting into the weeds and the details of this new craft I decided to undertake recently - AI video creation; and just like with any vertical, once you learn just a little bit enough about it, you visualise the downsides you didn’t see initially. On one hand, this space starts to be more competitive (or maybe it’s just the tech bubble I’m in), which is a good indicator of a market with a reasonably big potential; on the other, you’re worried about whether what you’re doing is going to become the next big thing or just another failed project… Whether someone else will create the big thing…

I have to bear with myself, and accept that progress usually feels slow in the moment, but if you keep being consistent, everything will work out for you. Plus, I can escape competition through authenticity… It’s hard to be authentic these days because it means knowing what you stand for, what you like or dislike, it means having a strong sense of self. Being authentic means being an opinionated twat, as someone wise put it once (he didn’t frame it this way, maybe I did :)). So, I like the thought of choosing the hard path, I just want to make sure that this time, it’s not just another one of my little projects, this time will be different!

Do I hold any regrets about my previous “projects”? Definitely not, it’s just that you never have infinite runway, sometimes you might fool yourself that you’re going the right direction. The only way to get out of this trap would be for you to check back in with reality :) If you’re building something in hardtech is the easiest way to know whether you’re fooling yourself or not. I’m not building in hardtech (yet), therefore I’ll rise my financial hygiene limit and I’ll do it regardless of whatever it takes. This way I hope I might get to know whether I am truly creating some form of value or just fooling myself that I’m sailing in the right direction.

We’re also moving in seasons, and we have to learn to adapt to each one of them or we’ll stall. Most people spend the first years of their life learning, without applying anything, and then for the rest of it they apply what they learned in those very first few years. That’s the wrong way to live your life today, you have to be a perpetual learner. You should constantly transition between states of learning and states of doing. You have to learn to live your life in seasons, and most importantly to change your behaviour whenever the season changes. Don’t try to fool System 2, try to make System 1 go towards the desired destination.